Have you ever seen an obvious, if minor, abuse of social justice you just wanted to do something about? Perhaps people who park in disabled parking spaces who just tell you to get lost when you suggest they are rather selfish? Now you can do something about these kind of people! All you have to do is call on the name of Captain Retribution and he will ‘fix it for you’.
Captain Retribution is a super hero, brother to Banana Man and a first cousin of Superman. Captain Retribution rights social wrongs. When he sees able bodied people parking in disabled spaces, he does not flinch from his duty. He tells the person in question politely to move their car; if they refuse he enters his well known routine…
He says ‘no problem’ then breaks both the person’s knees, so they will be wheel chair bound for 2 weeks. He then says ‘now you really are disabled and you can park in any parking space you like! Don’t thank me sir, I am just doing my job!’
They rarely thank him. Being a superhero however, he does let this affect his performance.
He is a one band at present, so don’t be surprised if he does not always respond to your requests immediately since he is very busy. Nevertheless, he will hear you and attend to the problem as soon as he can! He is particularly fond of using speed cameras and flat tires on motorists. Fair minded people have no fear, Captain Retribution just looks out for selfish individuals (such as BMWs drivers who tail gate you for driving below 120 mph).
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